A Beautiful Day For A Neighbor
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a few moments and allow yourself to just be. Take a couple deep breaths, grab yourself a cup of coffee, light a candle, do something that brings you comfort. Allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Consider how an oil painting requires layering many colors to create one beautiful image.
“In other words, the more you are identified with your mind, the more you suffer.”
- Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
"So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together, we might as well say,
would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?"
- Mister Rogers
Food for Thought
As a kid, I always looked forward to the moment Mister Rogers would come on PBS. I loved his song, the change from his jacket to sweater, the train, all of it. The rhythm of it all was soothing to me. I think back on the show and how Mister Rogers had so many different types of guests – the man would literally be a neighbor to anyone. He made being a neighbor feel easy – it did not matter who you were or what you believed, he would be your friend. In many ways, this show was formative for me.
However as I aged, I came to realize relationships felt far more complex than Mister Rogers made them out to be. We are all so different.
When I was in grad school, I moved into a neighborhood that was designed to be a retirement community. I was thrilled! Mind you, I was in my mid-twenties at the time. I loved the idea of being in a quieter area and having more of a community feel than apartment living could offer. While living there, I became friends with many of my neighbors. One of these neighbors walked his dog around the same times I walked mine. We became friends, and he was always sure to let me know that if I ever needed anything, I could go to him for help. That was such a comfort to me because my family and friends were not close by.
As I got to know my neighbor more, I learned our values were far different from one another. As a 9 on the Enneagram, I value harmony, so differences can prove to be a challenge for me. I have seen relationships end because of differences, and my sweet little 9 brain tends to catastrophize things. So when I learned of the differences in my values and the values of my neighbor, I felt a sense of dread within me.
We were in the midst of a polarized political climate with an election and a pandemic happening in tandem. I was not sure how my relationship with my neighbor would survive.
However, we continued to see each other walking our dogs, continued chatting, and continued checking in on each other. Even after I moved away, my neighbor would continue checking in on me, and offering me a place to stay if I wanted to come back for a visit. Our relationship did not change despite the differences in our values.
I am reminded of the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle, who offers the idea that we are not our minds; therefore, our values and ideas about the world do not define us. They are part of us, sure, but they are not all of who we are. I had a chance to experience this with my neighbor. The feeling of welcome and of genuine relationship with someone was transformative for me. It has transformed the way I view and experience relationships – I can see that connection with others is more important than having to agree with everyone.
So in the words of Mister Rogers, "let's make the most of this beautiful day. Since we're together, we might as well say, would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor?"
Consider a relationship you have with someone who thinks or believes differently than you. In what ways is your relationship with this person important or meaningful to you? Write that person a note to let them know how much you value your friendship and your differences within your friendship.
Paint or color a picture. As you create, notice how each of the different colors contributes to the beauty of the finished product.
The goal of this series is to take small steps toward inviting others into deeper community with you. One way might be inviting others to join in for a little Table Talk. Here is a printable version of today's Table Talk, A Beautiful Day For A Neighbor, that we hope you will use in whatever way is helpful in your journey!
Blessing
God of all,
Give us eyes to see glimpses of you in the face of our neighbor.
May we welcome as you welcome.
And may we, too, experience transformative connection.
Amen.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Do you find it difficult to engage with those whose opinions differ from yours? Why or why not?
Share with a friend a conversation or experience you’ve had that challenged your opinions or beliefs.
Discuss the value of each individual having their own unique point of view.
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Ask your kiddo about a time that they disagreed with someone. What was the disagreement about?
Talk to them about individuality – how each person has their own opinions, beliefs, and values – and that’s ok!
Paint or color a picture with your child. After you’re done, point out how each different color plays a special role in your masterpiece!
Meet Our Welcoming Voice!
Emily Turner is originally from Roanoke, Virginia. She has a BS from Virginia Tech (go Hokies!) and an MDiv from Duke University. She is a provisional elder in the United Methodist Church and currently works at St. Thomas Rutherford Hospital in Murfreesboro, TN on the medical/surgical unit. Emily lives in Murfreesboro with her sassy pit-mix, Ellie. Emily loves to read, walk Ellie, and explore new places.
To hear more from Emily throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!
Here are Five Things to Remember When Setting Your Own Welcome Table!