A New and Beautiful Way of Being!
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a few moments and allow yourself to just be. Take a couple deep breaths, grab yourself a cup of coffee, light a candle, do something that brings you comfort. Allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Sometimes we must endure transformation – transformation that can be scary, that can be messy – in order to become who we are created to be.
“Wrapped in its cocoon, its body decays and disintegrates into a blob of primordial goo, a nutrient-rich stew of death cells mixed with some bits and pieces of the caterpillar's innards. Then one day something remarkable happens: in the midst of the puddle of decaying ooze, a new cell pops up – ping! These cells have been called 'imaginal cells' because they are imagining what is possible… And then, because the imaginal cells are encoded with the program to create a butterfly, they start joining together to form cell clusters: clusters of wing cells, antenna cells, digestive tract cells and others take form. The cell clusters eventually form together and the transformation is complete – the butterfly emerges as an altogether new entity.”
- Leon Vanderpol, A Shift in Being
Isaiah 43:18-19
Do not remember the former things or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth; do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Food for Thought
Recently I listened to a podcast about how we change our minds. One of the speakers shared about the ways he changed his mind due to his relationship with his son and the insights his son offered to him about a significant disagreement they shared. “I love you and you can do better.” These words that the son spoke to his father struck me as incredibly poignant.
What a gift! And what a model of a healthy parent/child relationship. I am imagining that his son never could have said those words to him if their relationship wasn’t healthy or close. We are changed by those who love us most fully and by those who believe in us completely and stay close even when we get things wrong. For, in fact, we are a work in progress. And what a gift to have the ability as humans to be constantly evolving.
This Fall I spent 10 days with my nephew, Linus. Two years ago Linus shared with our family their transgender, nonbinary identity through an email. We offered love and support across the miles in various ways. But it wasn’t the same as getting in-person connection. I longed for that, and finally here was this chance to have it.
Like most young people, Linus has gone through a lot over the last few years, and they have bravely faced major emotional, physical, and mental transformations. Unlike many young people, Linus has had the support of a loving family, a medical system and a therapist they can trust and rely on, and most recently a school community that is inclusive and accepting.
I can’t express the absolute JOY I had in just spending time with Linus. I drove them to and from school most days and got to listen to their thoughts on classes, relationships, the books they are reading, and the art they are creating. We got bubble tea and took a long walk around one of their favorite neighborhoods in Seattle, checking out their favorite stores. We laughed about the silly antics of their cats. We took a road trip to visit a friend and spend some time in the woods. We celebrated their accomplishment of getting accepted into a teen writing program, and we spent many evenings sharing a meal with my niece (Linus’ sister), Isla, and her fiancé Beau.
Throughout my time in Seattle, I repeatedly commented, “This is the best day ever.” We did a lot of fun things – but honestly it was the feeling of comfort and connection that easily lent itself to silliness and laughter and that filled my soul up with gratitude.
In Leon Vanderpol's book, A Shift in Being, he talks about transformational change and uses the image of a caterpillar and the new “imaginal cells”, stating that they must form to allow a beautiful new creation.
I love the push-pull, tug-of-war imagery in this metamorphosis. Our cells of tradition and “the way it has always been” hang on tight. It is hard to let them pass away. And, when we don’t know what is coming next, we may feel fear, and even grieve in the unknown.
In Linus, I can see the beauty that has emerged through the struggle. This is a reason to celebrate! And the gift of getting to see the fullness of who they are – surrounded by love and care – gives me great joy, and has allowed for my own transformation of sorts, my own journey of letting go of expectation and welcoming space for new possibilities. Watching the imaginal cells take shape and witnessing the joyful outcome of who Linus is now has been a gift.
The struggle to transform is just that – a struggle. But in the struggle we are given the invitation to let some things pass away with the full knowledge and trust that our imaginal cells are powerful enough to “ping” us into a new and beautiful way of being.
Notice as much as you can in one day, paying attention to details you might otherwise ignore. What has become new for you in doing so?
Write a letter of gratitude to someone who has been a source of support and encouragement throughout one of your own moments of transition and transformation.
Our hope is that this Table Talk series inspires you to take small steps toward inviting others into deeper community with you. This printable version of today's reflection, “A New and Beautiful Way of Being!”, is for you to use in whatever way is helpful for you in your journey!
Blessing
Great Spirit of ever-widening imagination and possibility,
as we move through life’s transitions and transformations,
allow us to meet the unknown with tenderness,
honoring the struggle of becoming and awaiting the beauty that is yet to be.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Have you ever been encouraged to experience a change in perspective by someone who was close to you?
Discuss with a friend the idea of ‘imaginal cells’.
How could your ‘imaginal cells’ be re-imagining and reshaping your life?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Take a walk with a child in your life and try to spot a butterfly. If it isn’t butterfly season where you are, you can draw or paint a picture of a butterfly, or look at butterfly videos on YouTube.
Teach your child about the metamorphosis that a caterpillar experiences to become a butterfly.
For a fun example of this phenomenon, you can read Eric Carle’s classic, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Meet Our Welcoming Voice!
Reverend Susan Chorley is ordained in the American Baptist Churches/USA and Unitarian Universalist Association. She has served in congregations in Massachusetts, North Carolina, Washington and California. Susan is a survivor, a mother, and a restorative justice practitioner. She has a deep passion for reproductive justice and ritual creation. She currently serves the First Parish of Norwell, Unitarian Universalist in Norwell, MA.
To hear more from Susan throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!
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