Awash in Love & Chaos
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. The Spirit of God is gifting you great joys in little things. Take a couple deep breaths, grab yourself a cup of coffee, light a candle, do something that brings you comfort. May your eyes and your body soften for a few moments to receive the wonders of being fully present.
Every experience that we have, every person that we meet, has the power to change us, to mold us, to form us into a new being.
“Who can say if I’ve been
changed for the better.
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.”
— “For Good”, from the musical Wicked
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Food for Thought
I was a junior in college when I first learned about etching and printmaking.
The class in particular was Lithography. It was taught by a graduate student – a larger-than-life figure named Francis. He seemed so filled with knowledge and process.
We worked with metal plates that were drawn on with grease crayons – they literally looked like chubby black crayons. Up until then, my art experience had been filled with materials and mediums that were new to me and seemed elevated in a way – but this was a crayon. It seemed like child's play! Our teacher explained how the plate absorbs the grease from the crayon and this begins the process wherein our metal plates are transformed through the etching process. The darker and more intense your marks correlated with how your final piece would absorb the ink and turn out.
The etching process, through a series of chemical washes, removed the crayon’s grease – your markings – and in a reversal left the metal plate open and ready to receive the ink.
It was a fascinating medium to work with; it called on my base desires of process and creation. Somehow, in this child-like chaos of creating, you could work within a process that revealed your image.
The beauty of lithography and printmaking is that you could work and rework the image as long as you were willing to go through the chemical process over and over again.
Fast forward 20 years later, and I haven’t touched a metal plate since. But reflecting on the process is not too dissimilar from life. Every experience, every person, every emotion we encounter is a chance to wash ourselves with life and come out a new person. We are in a constant state of process and creation, if we are open to the etching.
This fall I lost my best friend, Drew. He died by suicide after a long battle with bipolar disorder.
We were married for twenty-two years.
For me, the beauty and battle of loving someone with bipolar disorder is that it challenges your notions of love and life. So much of our time together was awash in love and chaos. I feel called to revisit that love over and over again and to revisit the process that chaos can guide you through.
Loving Drew was like revisiting that metal plate. It often called on patience or compassion or wisdom or strength. Sometimes, after our more chaotic moments, I emerged as a person that I did not want to be, but therein lies the process.
Life and our experiences etch us continuously into new beings. And as with any art form – it requires of us a willingness to give ourselves to the process.
Can we prepare ourselves – like the metal plate – to be open to the process, even if along the way there are moments and endings bereft of beauty? Even if the endings are vastly different than ones we would ever hope or imagine?
Can we meet others and hold them in compassion, be patient, and learn from their wisdom or strength? Can we do the same for ourselves, witnessing something of God’s presence and grace in our own process of becoming – along our chaotic and complex journeys of life, loss, and love?
I am grateful that I was able to bear witness to Drew’s life and in turn have been carried through the many washes of our life together. I only hope to continue being open to the process of life with others so that I, too, might be a force of transformation in life and love.
**If you or anyone you know is struggling through mental illness, help is available to you through the Suicide Lifeline – #988. For more information, visit www.988lifeline.org.
Take a few moments to freedraw – start with a line, curvy or straight, and see where it takes you next – draw without a plan, but do so continuously for two minutes without lifting your pencil, pen, or crayon. See what emerges through the process.
Our “Awash in Love and Chaos” Journaling Page provides seven daily thoughts of reflection and journaling prompts that tie back into this week’s story. You can print it, forward it to a friend, use it as inspiration for your own journaling practice (or group conversations), or maybe just use it as food for thought in your own quiet time!
For a printable version of today's reflection Click Here!
Blessing
Loving God,
Be with us in our process of becoming,
and in those moments of chaos and love that are making us who we are.
Strengthen us and give us courage to meet each moment along the way,
that we might be etched over with life and possibility,
and emerge, time and again, made new. Amen.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Together with friends, discuss a time in your life or a relationship that felt complicated or chaotic. Where did you feel God’s presence during that time?
Then, discuss a time in your life or a relationship that felt particularly filled with love. What was it that left such a deep impression of love on you?
How were you changed through these experiences?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Talk with your child about what it means to make an impression on someone. Ask them who they feel has made an impression on them.
Have some fun making unconventional art with your kiddo today! Here are some ideas to get you started!
You can also freedraw together – close your eyes and draw, or draw whatever your heart wants for 1 minute (try to do it without picking up your pencil, pen, marker, or crayon). Talk about your designs. What is your favorite part of the design? What makes you happy about that part of your art?
Meet Our Welcoming Voice!
Raquel Goldman was born in Mexico and moved to Miami at the age of five. Mexico remained a formative part of her childhood as she returned every summer to visit her grandmother. After studying art in college and starting a family, she enrolled in San Francisco Cooking School. This led to an externship and later a job at the restaurant, Nopa, which deepened her interest in local produce. In 2020, she started Norte54 as a pastry box delivery program, while popping up at farmers markets and partnering with local shops to bring modern Mexican pastries to the Bay Area. The mission of Raquel and Norte54 is to create community, cultural awareness, and representation through baking.
To hear more from Raquel throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!
Here are Five Things to Remember When Setting Your Own Welcome Table!