Expanding Worlds & Opening Hearts
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a few moments and allow yourself to just be. Take a couple deep breaths, grab yourself a cup of coffee, light a candle, do something that brings you peace. Allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Those who are different from us—physically, spiritually, geographically, and in many other ways—can feel threatening to the way we understand the world. Consider the ways a stranger might actually be someone who can teach us something about ourselves or those around us.
“Think of strangers as friends you’ve not met yet.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
– Jalaluddin Rumi
Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
Food for Thought
Paul Hearne was not “from here,” which meant he was a “stranger to these parts.” We met the summer after high school as fellow counselors in a church camp near Chapel Hill, NC. A post graduate student from Ipswich, England, his plan was to make a little money so he could travel around the US before heading back to school in the fall.
Paul was blond-haired and fair-skinned. He wore linen clothes and corduroy sneakers, the likes of which I’d never seen before. His British accent—also the first I’d ever heard—was smooth and intriguing. He was a kind soul, thoughtful and generous. Everybody, including me, loved most when Paul would pick up his guitar and sing “The House of the Rising Sun.” He’d close his eyes and lift his voice to the air - rich, bold notes that coated the sky. Still struggling with the death of my father, I needed to imagine life beyond my grief. Paul—a bit mysterious and unfamiliar—expanded my view of the world.
One week after camp ended for the summer, I was sitting at home where I lived with my widowed mother when the front doorbell rang. There on the stoop stood Paul, his backpack over one shoulder, guitar over the other. Could he stay a couple of days, he asked? I was delighted to see him and swung the door wide.
My mother in those days was protective, suspicious, lonely, and grieving. She allowed him to stay, but she made it clear that she did not want him there. “He’s dirty,” she said to me, “And that long hair.” Her face was stern, disapproving. That night after dinner, she whispered, “He doesn’t have manners. Did you see how he ate with his knife and fork?”
“That’s Continental style,” I said to her. “He has wonderful manners. He’s just different.”
He left the next morning. I was embarrassed. I wanted my home to be open to my friends. I wanted them to feel they could drop in any time and stay as long as they wanted. In fact, I had told Paul a few weeks earlier that I’d welcome his visit.
Paul and I corresponded for a brief period afterward, but soon I lost touch with him. It’s been years since that summer. My mother eventually remarried and found joy again. I like to think that in a different time, a better time, she would have welcomed him and learned to embrace him as I did.
But as I remember Paul and my mother, I also consider the ways I, too, have been unwelcoming to those who have knocked on the door of my own life. I’ve turned away friends and strangers. We all have. Sometimes we’re too tired, too busy, too selfish, too whatever to let strangers in. But what we miss when we close ourselves to others can be the greatest gift of all, for everyone has something to teach us. I think of the healing Paul’s smile and song could have brought my mother, if she’d only welcomed him with even slightly open arms.
Hebrews 13:2 reminds us, “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”
When we say, “Welcome!” we are saying yes to ourselves, to our expanding worlds, to our opening hearts.
As you move through your week, practice saying “welcome” or “yes” to unexpected and sometimes challenging moments. This could be a conversation with a stranger or friend, a work opportunity, a new book, a new hobby. Pay attention to the way that saying “yes” in these moments opens you to see and experience yourself and the world around you in new ways.
Blessing
God of chances and of serendipity, help us remember that every stranger might be an angel. Remind us that our world is so big and our vision so small that we can’t know all the mysteries that surround us. Open our hearts and open our eyes so we might see that even the most unlikely challenge is a gift.
A little Table Talk for your table...
When have you opened your home to someone who was different from you? What did you learn from the experience? From the person?
When have you turned someone away when you could have extended welcome? What do you think you may have missed?
When has someone else’s gesture of welcome opened you to see yourself or the world in a new way?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Talk about a time when they have been the new person in a class or camp, etc. How did they get to know other people? What ways did other people make them feel welcome?
Read a book together that celebrates differences. Here are a few to choose from.
Discuss ways that we are all alike.
Meet our Welcoming Voice!
Barbara Presnell is a writer and teacher of writing who lives in Lexington, NC. Her five books of poetry include Piece Work, which documents the textile industry in North Carolina through the eyes of its workers, and Blue Star, the story of 100 years of war and its effect on one family. She is Senior Lecturer Emeritus at UNC-Charlotte, and you can read more of her poetry and prose at www.barbarapresnell.com.
To hear more from Barbara throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!