Gratitude Is Resilience
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come, for things are now ready. Ready for you. For all of you. Settle in with your strength and vulnerability. With your calm and anxiety. With your wholeness and brokenness. With your body, mind, and spirit.
Reflect on how the intention to experience gratitude strengthens our ability to notice and respond to the full range of life’s experiences.
“The whole thing is grace. Everything of the Universe – everything that has brought forth the carbon in my body, my body itself, the trees that are shining outside my window, the bees that are flying around collecting pollen – it’s all grace if we recognize it. It’s there for us.”
-Sister Miriam MacGillis
“Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,
‘You owe Me.’
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.”
-Hafiz, “The Sun Never Says”
O give thanks to Adonai, for God is good; for God’s steadfast love endures forever.
-Psalm 136:1
Food for Thought
A few weeks ago I was holding lots of stress, perhaps even fear, because several of my beloved ones are quite sick. Months before, I’d signed up for a guided retreat so I decided to go. One of the retreat’s nighttime invitations was to slowly walk out into a field surrounded by forest and observe the night sky. We were encouraged to experience the sensations of night in a place with very little artificial light.
As I lay on the dewy thick grass of the field, my lower back softened. The constellations overhead gradually became visible to me. My thoughts turned to all the times in my life when I’d lain under the night sky in someone’s backyard, or outside a tent, or at the beach, or even on the hillock of an old garbage dump. Memories of family times and friendships, times of courting and times of solitude flooded my senses. And I began to laugh uncontrollably. All the delight surged through me with tingling limbs and forehead. I could not stop laughing. I felt the tightness in my body seep into the ground. I felt the sensation of being held by the firm earth, the tangle of roots beneath, the panoply of Milky Way overhead.
These last weeks, when I experienced the tightness and shortened breath, I returned in my mind for a few moments to all those sensations. I resisted, mind you, the urge to laugh uncontrollably in a public space, but I still found ways to return to that moment and I once again felt the stiffness drain from my body.
Gratitude can be rooted in memory, yet it is not primarily about the past, but our orientation to the future. When life is rough, gratitude can seem like a chore. We can express it, but it may feel like going through the motions. Our intentions and feelings often don’t match.
We can get fixed on the idea that gratitude is about looking back to what already has happened. At a psychological level, though, writes Professor David DeSteno, gratitude isn’t passive reflection. It’s about building resilience. “It’s not about being thankful for things that have already occurred, and, thus, can’t be changed; it’s about ensuring the benefits of what comes next. It’s about making sure that tomorrow, and the day after, you will have something to be grateful for.”
It feels like the memory of that night in the field, fixed by older memories, is a root out of which my grateful intentions, awareness of positive sensations, and attention to the goodness around me can blossom not only in this moment, but prime me to be on the lookout for more things by which to be seized in awe and gratitude.
Take a few moments to look around, reminding yourself you are safe. Slowly and gently look behind your right shoulder. Now your left. Look down, then up. You are not in danger. Let your nervous system acknowledge this. Take a deep breath in. Pause for a beat at the top of your breath. Slowly release. Pause for a moment at the treasure of the bottom of the breath: pure being.
Journal about the things that delight you, or look back on the day for moments of gratitude.
For a printable version of today's reflection Click Here!
Blessing
Steadfast, loving God,
We clap our hands and stomp our feet, and wiggle into stillness in thanksgiving for all the gifts. We cannot fathom a love like Yours, so we rest in its radiance. Turn us toward the gifts today, especially as we grieve or fear or feel pain.
A little Table Talk for your table...
What’s a moment in your life you’ve experienced recently that you might use to root your intention to be on the lookout for goodness?
Where in your body do you most often feel sensations of gratitude? Describe that experience as best you can.
Brainstorm or write together a short psalm of thanksgiving for this very day’s encounters.
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Invite a time of completing the sentences:
“I love being alive on Earth because…”
“A place that is magical to me is…”
“Some things I like about myself are….”Discuss times during the day or week when your child feels most calm, most themselves, most energetic. What are the things that help them have those feelings?
Take your kiddos on a nature walk! Take turns touching the texture of bark on a tree trunk, smelling a flower, etc. If appropriate, you can even close your eyes to add another element to your sensory journey.
Meet Our Welcoming Voice!
Rev. Craig Schaub enjoys time with plants, hiking, biking, and sitting in the woods. He is a minister at Parkway United Church of Christ in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and is committed to community organizing, food justice, climate resilience, and anti-racism work. Craig is married and has an adult daughter.
To hear more from Craig throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!
Here are Five Things to Remember When Setting Your Own Welcome Table!