What Truly Matters
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a couple deep breaths and allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Consider the way a child enters the world with no greater need than to be loved.
“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”
- Brennan Manning
Mark 9:33-37
They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”
Food for Thought
I have a senior in high school this year, so we have been moving through the college selection process. I started out the process with this mantra: My daughter will be fine at any school she attends - and if her path takes her in a different direction completely, she will be okay. She will learn and grow and be surrounded by a loving and supportive community.
Isn’t that lovely. And it is what I truly believe, in my heart...
But the other night, my daughter became so frustrated with me as I was pushing yet more schools onto her list for consideration. Because here we are in New England, surrounded by schools that you hear are among “the best”, and ‘Didn’t she even want to consider them?’ But she already has a list of schools and has made her priorities in this search abundantly clear.
I realized that this process is bringing out things in me that I don’t particularly like. It is bringing to the forefront my own preoccupation with status and success, names and labels, prestige. I had to take a minute and reel myself in: What was I doing? What was I conveying? God forbid, if somehow I’ve perpetuated the idea that my daughter’s perspective is not good enough, or worse, that somehow her ultimate worth is tied to this decision or to the outcome of this application process. Yikes!
I wasn’t listening to my daughter and what she needed. In my distracted “quest for the best” I neglected to focus on her needs, on her voice, and on her wellbeing.
Our culture tends to evaluate and measure things and people according to “greatness,” with a focus that rests often on “How much have you done and what do you have to show for it?”
It is not surprising that even the disciples found themselves in a heated debate over who was greatest among them. It must have come as quite a shock when Jesus put a child before his disciples and told them that, to be great, they must welcome, prioritize, and serve children - that they must put themselves and their own needs behind those of a child.
Jesus gave his disciples a reminder of the priority that matters most, a reminder that all of us need: the image of who we are and have always been - not products of this world, but beloved children of God.
We are reminded, along with the disciples, that we are beloved - our whole lives long - from childhood to the grave and beyond it. And even the child - who can’t measure a lifetime of achievement or rank or greatness - is worthy of attention, provision, service, and love. That belovedness does not rest on any accomplishments of ours; we can’t earn belovedness like a trophy, and we can’t measure it in degrees. It is not anything we can ever achieve or lose. It is just who we are at our core, from the beginning until the end of all that is.
We are each beloved - that is our immeasurable greatness. It is our call to see and honor the belovedness of others in such a way that no one ever doubts that they are a beloved child of God and a beloved child in the eyes and hearts of all around them, their whole lives long. Because we are all beloved in the eyes of our Creator - and that is what truly matters.
On a small piece of paper, write this phrase - “I am beloved. You are beloved.” Put this note in a place where you will see it often - in your car, in your wallet, taped to your mirror.
Take stock this week of how that simple reminder impacts your approach to life - the way you view yourself, your interactions with others, your mindset about school or work, etc. Perhaps end your day by journaling insights you’ve had.
Blessing
Loving God,
Thank you for requiring nothing more of us
than to come to you with
the heart of a child -
a heart that is open and humble,
eager to love and to be loved.
A little Table Talk for your table...
In what ways do you have a tendency to measure your worth, or the worth of others, in accomplishments or status?
Share with a friend a time you made a judgment call based on someone's “status”, or perhaps a time a judgment was placed on you because of yours.
What are ways we can practice approaching the world with an open heart? And how do you think that would help us see each other as beloved children of God?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Talk with your kiddos about what it means to be “beloved”.
Talk about achievements, what they mean and don’t mean (i.e. “To achieve something takes hard work, and you should be proud. But our achievements do not define us, and they do not mean that we are any better or any less than anyone else.”)
Ask them to share a time when they have been proud of themselves. What are you proud of in yourself? Tell each other something that makes you proud of the other person and remind them that they are loved.
Meet our Welcoming Voice!
Rev. Daryn Stylianopoulos is originally from North Carolina, but has called Boston, MA home for the past eighteen years. She is a graduate of Wake Forest University and Boston University School of Theology and serves as a Baptist pastor in the Boston area. Daryn is an advocate for the marginalized and works against injustices in her community. She believes in creatively cultivating a spirit of cohesion, welcome, and healing in the world. A lover of art, music, gardening, and, most of all, family, she often looks to these for inspiration in her work and ministry.
To hear more from Daryn throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!