You Are Not Alone
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a couple of deep breaths and allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Consider the way that stories have been used to help us learn, grow, and nurture our communities.
She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
“She Used To Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.
Food for Thought
From a young age, there is a fairytale idea of how our lives should pan out - a predictable rhythm of life laid out in nursery rhymes or sung playfully by friends in those playground songs we still remember.
Mia and Mike sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes baby in the baby carriage…
We sang this playground tune to tease our friends when they had a crush on someone. And you would sit there pretending to be in agony, all while secretly fantasizing about the perfect life you and your crush would share one day.
When I later met Mike at a concert, that nursery rhyme fantasy flooded my thoughts. First came love, then three years later we got married, but after five years of marriage, the baby never came. Instead, that next chapter in my life was not a “baby in the baby carriage,” but something called infertility. What once were the conversations and topics of young classroom fun became the silent heartaches of adults.
I remember being in a church small group with some of my closest friends. One of them had just had a baby, and her husband gushed over the experience. This new bundle of joy was his greatest blessing, and he was so elated to experience “his heartbeat outside of his chest.” Even in my excitement for my friend, my heart was crushed.
That day began an internal conflict with faith. I felt angry with God - it felt as though I was intentionally being kept from one of life’s most wonderful blessings. I battled with the reality of staring at hundreds of negative pregnancy tests while trying to push forward with a positive attitude and faith for the next month. There was crushing sadness followed by encouraging self pep-talks during the two-week waiting period followed by more crushing sadness.
It was a lonely, emotional rollercoaster, over and over again. I felt that no one could truly understand my longing for a child and the weight of my grief - and because of the deep feelings of shame and stigma surrounding infertility, I only shared this chapter of my life with a few close friends and family.
Then this past year, in the same way those childhood songs shaped my dreams for my future, a different song flooded my thoughts with new hope. The song was “She Used To Be Mine,” from the musical Waitress. It is a beautiful ballad about missing the person you once were.
In listening to the words, I realized that I deeply missed the younger me that once had exciting hopes for her life - and, at the same time, I came to a place where I didn’t want to hide my experience any longer. The lyrics brought peace and encouraged me to welcome all parts of my infertility journey with freedom and bravery. They encouraged me to share with others while being imperfect and in the midst of one of the heaviest trials of my life. So I sang the words with tears streaming down.
In this moment, I realized that my experience is not for me to suffer alone in silence, but within this tragedy is the opportunity to welcome the not-so-cute parts, and to live into my own faith by sharing with others along their own journeys. And the peace I have found in sharing my story and walking with others has brought unexpected healing. I am reminded that God’s plan for my life and all of its surprises are much more perfect than the imperfect fantasies of my youth.
Wherever you are in your life journey - you are not alone. There is someone who needs to hear your story. You never know who has experienced the same thing, or may be going through it right now. Your bravery and boldness may not only help you, but it can help someone who needs to know they aren’t alone on their journey either.
It is when we welcome others in during the hard times that we nurture the community and healing that God has for us.
For so many of us, music can bring great healing and offer opportunities for togetherness. Wherever you find yourself in your journey today, we hope you might take a few moments to pause and let Mia's version of Precious Lord be a source of peace and comfort in your days ahead.
If you know someone going through a difficult time, let them know you care. Offer to be a good listener if they need that. Remind them they are not alone in this journey.
Blessing
God,
You are faithful in your presence with us through all things. Thank you for accompanying us in the midst of heartache and despair. Thank you for your love of us, and for the reminder to love ourselves in all that we are. For the journey and those with us on the journey, we give thanks.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Share together a time when you felt angry or disappointed with God.
Discuss a time when someone let you know that you were not alone in your grief or pain.
Take turns describing how it feels to know that someone else shared your burden or was with you - even in spirit - in the difficult times.
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Ask your kiddos if they have ever been disappointed. What did that feel like?
Prompt them to share what makes them feel better when they are sad, confused, afraid, or angry. Ask them what friends can do to help them when they are feeling these big emotions.
Have them create a list of things they might do or say to comfort a friend when they are feeling big emotions. Sometimes, just letting someone know you care is a good first step.
Meet Our Welcoming Voice!
Mia Jones Halverson is a gifted singer, performer, and educator. Hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, Mia received her BA in Commercial Music from Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. She is a principal vocalist at the Disneyland Resort, has appeared on the hit CBS television series, The Neighborhood, and she has also worked with a diverse list of musical artists. Mia continues to inspire the next generation of musical artists in voice and music lessons through her company, Do Re Mia Music, fulfilling her deep passion of teaching and sharing her gifts.
To hear more from Mia throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!
If you have a story that you would like to be included as a Reader's Write feature, we would love for you to send it our way! You can email us directly at thewelcometableco@gmail.com.
Here are Five Things to Remember When Setting Your Own Welcome Table!