The Sacred Act of Showing up
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You are welcome here. Come just as you are, bringing whatever is on your heart today. Take a couple of deep breaths, and allow yourself to be present in this moment.
Consider how the opposite poles of two magnets, when placed together, create the strongest connection.
It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.
- Audre Lorde
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Food for Thought
My church community lost a beloved member of our congregation this past week. Ernie was a Marine, a firefighter, and a loyal friend who understood what it meant to show up for others. He was dependable and reliable - so much so that the one time he didn’t show up to offer me a ride to line dancing, I called the local Fire Department to check on him because I assumed something must be horribly wrong. It turns out he had just forgotten about line dancing that day. Apparently, it really does happen to the best of us.
There is something sacred about the act of showing up for one another - something holy about being present, about not letting go, about holding on. It takes commitment. It takes dedication. And it matters. It matters in this world that we show up for one another.
Ernie understood this and he embodied it, not only in his line of work but in all that he did for those around him. One of the things that I admired most about Ernie was his willingness to continually show up with and for me. It was a rare gift of friendship and respect that he extended without conditions; a warm welcome offered even though we did not agree on everything. Some of our ideas about faith were different. Some of our ideas about God were different. Some of our ideas about politics were different. Some of our ideas about the world were different. But I want you to know that none of that - none of those differences - kept Ernie from showing up for me.
Those differences didn’t keep Ernie from showing up on Thursday afternoons to pick me up for line dancing, and they didn’t keep Ernie from showing up at church on Sunday mornings, or from showing up inside my office door whenever he had something on his heart or his mind he wanted to talk about. He would simply stop by or catch me after a sermon and say, “Hey… Have you got a minute?” And we would sit down and have honest conversation about how we felt, about what we believed, and about the goodness we saw in each other. And we prayed for each other. We created space for one another.
Our world needs more of this. Less of writing off one another and more of making room for respectful and honest conversation, because in doing so we can practice what it means to see one another through more gracious eyes - through God’s eyes - which are far superior to our own.
When we practice seeing one another as beloved children of God, only then can we begin to truly love our neighbor as ourselves. Only then can we understand what it means to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. Only then can we begin to hear one another and see one another in ways that expand our understanding of who God is for all of us in our wide and wonderful world.
Over the weekend, my family ordered Chinese takeout, and the fortune in my fortune cookie couldn’t have been more timely. It read, “We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don’t.”
My conversations with Ernie were not always comfortable, but they were never about that. When held in friendship, those conversations fostered growth - growth in our knowledge, love, and understanding of God and one another; growth in our awareness of God’s love for us both and for this world; growth in our awe of God’s abilities and graces; and growth in our ability to better be present with others through the love of God.
I am grateful for Ernie, for his remarkable life, for his dedication to showing up for others, and for the way he embodied such warm welcome to all those around him. His friendship and example will always be a reminder of the sacred experiences that can only happen when are committed to being present with one another, when we won’t let go, when we practice showing up to be with people right where they are.
What does it mean to show up for someone? Take a moment and consider the relationship that is fostered when one person consistently and unconditionally offers another their presence, respect, and love.
Think about those with whom you tend to disagree. Make a concerted effort to remember that they, too, are beloved children of God. Does this affect the grace you extend toward them during your times of disagreement?
Blessing
Loving Lord,
Thank you for the gift of friends
who strive to bring more love, respect,
and understanding into this world.
Help us to be more like that in our own lives.
Help us to see the places where we can be more open,
where we can extend more grace,
and where we can offer more welcome.
Amen.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Who is someone in your life who continually shows up for you?
How do you tend to react when you disagree with someone? Do you get flustered? Do you shut down? Do you remain calm?
What is one way that you can try to offer more understanding and openness?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
Talk with your child about differences - differences in opinions, in beliefs, in values.
Ask them if they’ve noticed any of those differences between them and their friends (does a friend have a different taste in music, a different favorite sport, practice a different faith, etc.)
Let them know that differences are what make us each unique and differences are a-ok!
Meet our Welcoming Voice!
Rev. Daryn Stylianopoulos is originally from North Carolina, but has called Boston, MA home for the past eighteen years. She is a graduate of Wake Forest University and Boston University School of Theology and serves as a Baptist pastor in the Boston area. Daryn is an advocate for the marginalized and works against injustices in her community. She believes in creatively cultivating a spirit of cohesion, welcome, and healing in the world. A lover of art, music, gardening, and, most of all, family, she often looks to these for inspiration in her work and ministry.
To hear more from Daryn throughout the week, follow along on our Instagram!