The Wellspring of Life
Table Talk
Setting the Table
You have landed here at the table as you are moving about the rhythm of your day – checking your email amongst work, kids, deadlines, the messiness of the world. You can pause here, no matter where you are in your story, and know that you belong. Perhaps you could begin with 3 deep breaths…
Inhale: “I am here.”
Exhale: “I open my heart.”
(In honor of Cole Arthur Riley, “Black Liturgies” )
Do you have a hard time with the idea of caring for yourself – of letting yourself truly rest and restore? Know that you are not alone, but also know that you are deserving of that love.
Self care is about giving the world the best of you, not what’s left of you.
– Katie Reed
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Food for Thought
I believe we can all safely say that there is no shortage of information on “self-care” nowadays. With all the articles, headlines, and marketing gimmicks sporting the buzz-phrase, you’d think we’d all be experts on it by now!
I love the idea of self care – I do! – but sometimes it just feels like one of those things we have over-talked about in American culture. I’m referring to the “#treatyoself”, “buy your favorite coffee”, “take a bubble bath” kind of self-care that does serve up a dose of dopamine or rest, but does not typically offer sustenance. Perhaps what we’ve been talking about so much isn’t true self-care. I have found that, while self-care is an embodied experience that can absolutely include naps and treats, it truly starts with your heart.
If you look closely at the accounts we are given of Jesus’ life, you’ll find subtle examples of self-care all over the place. You’ll find that Jesus got tired and needed rest, he got overstimulated and needed time away from the crowds of people who needed him, he got hungry, he took time away from teaching and healing to recharge with those that knew him best.
In a very matter-of-fact way, Jesus models to us that when we care for our bodies well, we are also caring for our mind and heart, which allows us to then better care for the minds and hearts of those around us. That’s life embodied – it’s all connected.
In my experience, growing up as a woman in southern Christian culture, service to others was emphasized greatly. But I don’t remember being given a frame of reference for self-care. Even in the command to “love your neighbor as you love yourself," we focused our attention far more on what it means to love others than we ever did about what it means to care for ourselves. And yet, it isn’t until we love ourselves well that we are able to love others in a more balanced way.
I think Jesus understood this. Jesus cared for himself in ways that then spilled over in care for the people and the community around him. One way I believe we can find this level of self-care is through the advice given in Proverbs, to “above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Another translation puts it, “guard your heart for everything you do flows from it”. So, then, a huge component of caring for yourself well means guarding your heart.
I believe that, in this context, guarding your heart could look like knowing what boundaries you need with certain people or in certain places in your life, so that you might take good care of yourself, so that you might also love others well.
Or perhaps, it’s understanding what work in the world is yours to do and when you might be overworking towards bitterness and burn out, so that instead you might take good care of yourself, so that you might also love others well.
Or it could mean allowing ourselves to find the courage to openly be our full selves, so that we might take good care of ourselves, so that we might also love others well.
So much of the Christian message is learning to love each other and our community well. But it is so easy to forget that we are a part of that community as well, and that our selves are worthy of our love, too. We aren’t just supposed to love our neighbor, we are to love them as we love ourselves. So that means we have to love ourselves well in order to love our neighbors well. We must take the time to show ourselves patient, gracious, generous loving care so that we have it in us to show others patient, gracious, generous loving care.
Self-care is an inside job that requires knowing yourself well enough to guard your heart so that what flows from it in your life is driven by love – the kind of love Jesus practiced for himself and for those around him… Radical love that spills over from us and produces radical love for all others.
How can you begin to show yourself that same care this week? Make a list of ways that you could start your self-care at the heart level. Imagine, from there, what might flow from your life because of that commitment.
If your Summer schedule is already in full swing and you are in need of a fun way to stay connected with friends and loved ones through meaningful conversation, check out The Traveling Table! This FREE downloadable eBook series can go with you wherever you go this Summer, and there is something for everyone!
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Blessing
God who cares so deeply for us and our well-being,
During this summer season,
may we take the time to turn our faces to the sun,
remembering the words
“YOU are the salt of the earth…
Guard your heart…
care for yourself well so that you can care for others well…”
Help us remember that as the salt of the earth, you have given us each a flavor to offer the world that can only come from us. May we care for it well.
Amen.
A little Table Talk for your table...
Who in your life do you see offering examples of self-care through their words and actions?
What is one action or change you can make in your daily life this summer that demonstrates a radical, beautiful, joyful love of self?
Dream big: within your family, within your friend group, as a community, as a society, where could your circles of connection benefit from collectively starting with self-care from the heart and letting that flow into other areas of your lives?
Try taking it to the Kids Table...
As a family, talk about how each of you can show care to yourselves in order to show your body, mind, and heart love.
Ask your kiddo “what do you love about being YOU?” Have them draw a picture filled with the people, foods, activities, and places that help them feel excited about being who they are.
If the idea of “loving yourself” is a fuzzy concept to understand for your kiddo, just talk about how they feel when they’re sick. When we don’t feel good, it can be harder to be kind, patient, or loving than it is when we are feeling great!
Meet our Welcoming Voice!
Ashley Stephenson finds that her work in the world is that of a pastor and a creative through her small business Story Photographers and various positions in ministry. Every story is important and worth telling; may we hold that space for each other and ourselves well.
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Here are Five Things to Remember When Setting Your Own Welcome Table!